I made it!

Never winning is actually good

…When one fails, one must keep trying…

 

…And by trying harder, one will eventually achieve perfection—I hope!

After studying in Finland, I’d reached a point where I was feeling pretty comfortable with my works.

My drawings were looking better than ever, and I swear, in my head I thought I was almost as good as Adam Hughes—AH!

This is a very typical human behaviour. We are designed to think we know it all.

If we weren’t we would be overwhelmed by all the mysteries of the Universe, and we wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.

I saw my drawings and I compared them with my first attempts, and I though: THESE.ARE.PERFECT.

Has this ever happened to you?

I didn’t care if my seniors told me there were mistakes in my perspective, or that the anatomy I was drawing was wrong. I thought they were all intentionally trying to get me down so I would quit.

I was so convinced that my work was good that I submitted it for the Spanish National Comic Contest.

You can see below a selection of the pages I submitted to the contest:

I suppose that by the post title you’ve already guessed I didn’t win.

And how could I?

Some part of me still believes this work is awesome! I mean… What parent would acknowledge that their baby is ugly, right?

But now I understand that this work could be VERY MUCH improved. This was not award-winning quality at all.

What is award-winning, anyway?

The comic that actually won had one of those styles where all the characters look like weird potatoes, and the story is strange and surreal, and there is no correct perspective because all the drawings are somehow Picassian in essence?

Art can really be so subjective… 

The truth is after a while, this fall didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. It actually boosted my Ego.

The selection committee didn’t think I was worthy? Well, well, well…

I was going to prove them WRONG! —Evil laugh!!!—

Illustration of Titania, from the animated show Gargoyles

Illustration of Titania, from my Gargoyles fan-fiction of 2006

I wasn’t ready to let them crush me.

During the following summer I worked harder than ever, and prepared some new works to submit for a local contest, where I got…

Absolutely nothing. Not even a special mention—sniff—

Next, I applied to yet another contest, this time for graphic design and… Bam!

Nothing again???

depression-test

 

So there I stood. A three times loser.

Actually more that three… But…. Who cares!

I felt Unrewarded. Unrecognized. Unwanted.

I suppose, at this point in life is where most people that go through the exact same thing separates into two categories:

  • The realistic ones that acknowledge that maybe they were not meant for this, and decide to try something else.
  • And the really stubborn ones that decide to continue working on it, until they get it right.

Not sure if my problem is being stubborn or just plain obsessive, but I chose the second path.

I continued not winning in contests, not obtaining prestigious scholarships and basically not getting anything from anyone.

But in the long run, it all was for the best.

If it wasn’t for all those fails, I would have never learned to draw in perspective correctly.

Because my perspective was already perfect, remember?

I would have never learned to sculpt human anatomy… Or I would have never discovered 3D modeling!

I might not be winning yet, but I want to believe all the hard work eventually will pay off…

 

Coming up Next

My failing strike drove me back to reality. I realized that I needed to keep studying, which led me to taking a Master in Graphic Design.

Want to know how that turned out? Continues here.

 

Join the discussion

What about you? Are you a winner? Or the eternal loser?

Are you a realist, or an unstoppable stubborn?

Feel free to share your own tale of failure/success with the world!

Thank you for reading this post! If you liked the contents, don’t keep it to yourself… Tell your friends! Thanks to your support I can create amazing projects. Check them out on my web/social media and tell me what you think!

See you there!

Heledahn
sara.martull@gmail.com

I am a 3D artist. I like making 3D illustrations, modeling and rigging characters and watching hundreds of movies and TV shows.

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